Sep 022014

seeeing what you don't want

I’m getting older and so are my children. Randy and I now have more children over the age of 18 than under it.

One thing I have learned is that you see their failures and mistakes in a new way. Now I see them and wonder what I did wrong.

Our children are sinners too and as they grow, and their less than perfect qualities become more apparent as bad habits and poor decisions, and the natural consequences that follow them, occur.

And, of course, I feel some responsibility and tend to wonder how much of their sin is my fault. I wonder if they mess up because I messed up when they were little.

“Did I not read the Bible enough?” Or, “Did I do too much Bible and not enough math?”

“Did I focus too much on Latin?” Or, “Why didn’t I teach them Spanish?”

“Did I spend too much time in “XYZ” and not enough on “ABC”?

The truth is that as they grow up, I need to look at them and their sin as I do my own sin, something that is between the Lord and I. Yes, they have things that need to be worked on. So do I.

Of course, this does not mean that I stop parenting, caring, or even, at times, gently interceding with encouragement and exhortation. I am always the mom that God hand-picked for that child.

My responsibility to love and try to help them walk righteously doesn’t end when they turn a certain age or display a specific character quality. It’s forever.

So, I put all of my energy into, and focused on, raising godly children who are diligent, faithful, responsible, and wise children of God who love and serve Him. If I missed anything, let it be calculus or debate.

What I should be afraid I might have missed is how to seek His Kingdom, find a Christian husband or wife who will be compatible, why we want to live righteously, how to avoid sin, and live for Him.

If the boys are courageous, loyal, strong leaders, purposeful, planning to be godly husbands and fathers . . .

If the girls are dependable, tender-hearted, faithful, wise, and learning to be devoted to their own families . . .

And, if I did my best while leaning on Jesus . . .

then as they continue to grow, I need to be proud of them for what they do right and pray for the rest.


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